Wacky Love Story
by redvines-whatcanttheydo
Summary: AU Marauders era fic written in play form Set in out world at a modern high school Lily and James bump into each other one day, and one falls in love while the other falls in loathe. Can James get the girl before it's too late?
1. Scene 1

Characters:

Lily- a teenage girl

Marlene- Lily's best friend

James- popular boy at school

Alice- Lily and Marlene's friend

Sirius- James' best friend

Remus- James' other best friend

Frank- a boy who goes to Central

SCENE I

(At store, James bumps into Lily)

JAMES

Oh, sorry

LILY

It's okay.

JAMES

Hey, you go to Central, right?

LILY

Yeah. I'm Lily.

JAMES

Hi, Lily. I'm- (Lily interrupts)

LILY

James. Everyone knows you. James Potter, football player extraordinaire.

JAMES

(cockily)

Oh, well, I wouldn't say I'm an extraordinaire, but, you know, if you wanna describe it like that...

LILY

(annoyed)

Oh, you know you would describe it as extraordinaire. No need to try to seem cool.

JAMES

(flirtatious)

Ooh, I like you. Hey, what d'you say we, oh, I don't know, go get coffee sometime?

LILY

I don't drink coffee.

JAMES

Well, then. Lunch?

LILY

I think I'll pass.

JAMES

Really. Well, call me when you change your mind.

(James winks and writes his number on a piece of paper and gives it to Lily, then walks away)

LILY

(mutters) Arrogant toerag.

(Marlene walks up to Lily)

MARLENE

Hey, were you just talking to James Potter?

LILY

*sighs* Sadly, yes.

MARLENE

Why are you sighing? He was totally hitting on you! And he's like, so hot!

LILY

Because, Marlene, he is an arrogant toerag. It's so bad that I noticed it after one conversation with him.

MARLENE

Oh, Lily, don't be so harsh. He can't be that bad. I mean, he is friends with like, everyone in school.

LILY

They're only friends because A) he's the star of the football team, B) they think he's cool, and C) they think he's good-looking. Which, yes he is, no he isn't and no he isn't.

MARLENE

Oh, come on Lils, at least admit that he's hot.

LILY

I must not tell lies. And that, my darling Marly, would be a lie.

MARLENE

Why are you so darn stubborn when it comes to boys? You've had at least five boys- perfectly nice, not arrogant boys, I might add- ask you out and you've said no to all of them. It's like you want to die an old maid.

LILY

I don't want to die an old maid, it's just that I didn't really like any of those boys, and I knew it would just end up hurting them.

MARLENE

Oh, Lils. Everyone gets hurt at some time or another. And you'll have to, too.

LILY

Yes, but imagine being led on, and then just dumped.

MARLENE

Don't have to. You do, but I don't. Because you've never been on a date.

LILY

Whatever. Can we just stop talking about this?

MARLENE

Fine. For now. But we are so telling Alice about this at school tomorrow.

(Girls walk offstage)

* * *

So this is a play I wrote for school that I figured would be enjoyed by the internet. I posted this on my other account everyoneisawful and it's mine so don't you dare accuse me of stealing it because I promise that's me.

R&R please? I'll give you a cookie


	2. Scene 2

SCENE II

(At school, during lunch)

MARLENE

And then he gave her his number!

ALICE

Ohmygosh you have James Potter's number? Right now? This is too great.

(James walks up to them)

JAMES

Did I hear my name being called?

LILY

Go away, Potter.

JAMES

Oh, Lilypad, don't be such a spoilsport! Your friends don't mind, do you-?

MARLENE

I'm Marlene, and that's Alice.

JAMES

Ah, okay. Well, Lilypad, Marlene and Alice don't mind me being over here, do you, ladies?

ALICE

No, not- (Lily glares at her) I mean, yes, actually, we do mind.

JAMES

Alice, Alice, you don't need to listen to her. I just came over here for a little talk with you ladies. Okay, Lilypad?

LILY

Go bother someone who cares, James. Oh, and don't call me 'Lilypad.'

JAMES

Fine. I won't. But you know Lils, my offer for going out sometime still stands... (smirks)

LILY

No. Never. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my lunch in peace.

(James winks and walks away)

LILY

Ugh, that annoying little-

MARLENE

Lighten up, Lils. He's not that bad.

LILY

Yeah, and you're going to marry Harry Styles. Honestly though, he's an idiot. I don't get why everyone likes him.

MARLENE

Because, Lily, he is cute and he is the star of the football team. And he is hitting on you. Every other girl in the school would give anything to be in your place.

LILY

Well, I'm not "every other girl" now am I?

(At James' table)

(James walks up and sits down)

REMUS

Still no luck, then?

JAMES

Nope.

SIRIUS

Aw, don't worry she'll come around. They all do, eventually.

JAMES

Yeah, but she's not "them all." She's special.

REMUS

Don't worry. If she doesn't give in, which it would be hard not to, with you, you'll move on. You always do. Don't let her spoil senior year, man.

JAMES

But... I don't know. I guess I like her because she won't give in. Only not like that. She's so... stubborn. And independent. That's what great.

SIRIUS

Aww, is Jamesy getting his first vision into what real love is?

JAMES

Shut up.

SIRIUS

I'm just messing with ya. But I don't know, I kinda like that Marlene. She seems cool.

JAMES

Yeah. You should ask her out, man. I'm sure she'd go for you.

SIRIUS

I don't know... What if she says no?

REMUS

What's this? Sirius Black, afraid to ask a girl out? Pinch me, this must be a dream!

(Sirius pinches Remus)

REMUS

Ow! Sirius, I didn't mean really pinch me!

SIRIUS

You were asking for it!

JAMES

Literally!

(Bell rings)

REMUS

Ah, I've got English. See you guys!

JAMES & SIRIUS

See ya!

* * *

Alright! Another scene! Hope ya liked it! R&R please, it means so much to me when people do! I'll give you a virtual cookie _and_ hug if you do!


	3. Scene 3

SCENE III

(Lily, Marlene and Alice are walking across the stage, chatting)

MARLENE

I know, right? So then he says "Rose Tyler, I-" AND FADES AWAY! By this point I'm pretty much bawl-

(Frank comes in and interrupts)

FRANK

Um, hey, Lily?

LILY

Wha- Oh, um, yeah?

FRANK

Well, I was wondering- I mean it's okay if you don't want to- but I was thinking that we could, you know-

MARLENE

Spit it out!

FRANK

Right, yeah, well I just wantedtoknowifyou'dmaybeliketogogetcoffeethisweeke nd...

LILY

Sorry?

FRANK

Yeah, sorry, I just asked if you'd like to get coffee this weekend...?

LILY

Oh, well, I don't know...

MARLENE

(whispers to Lily)

Come on, Lils! Loosen up! One date won't hurt anyone.

LILY

Fine. I guess I'll think about it.

(Frank starts walking away slowly)

MARLENE

Come on, Lils, have a little fun! He's a perfectly nice, cute guy!

LILY

I dunno... Alice, what d'you think?

ALICE

I think... I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with. And if that means saying no, then say no.

MARLENE

Oh, seriously? Step out of your comfort zone a little! Take a risk!

LILY

I guess... I guess I'll do it. Frank! Hey! FRANK!

FRANK

(runs back onstage)

Yeah?

LILY

Sure.

FRANK

Sure?

LILY

Yes. Sure. I'll get coffee with you. How about Saturday? At Starbucks? 2 o' clock?

FRANK

Really? Awesome! Yeah, Saturday sounds great. See ya!

(exits)

MARLENE

Aw, yeah! Finally! Lily got the balls to go on a date. Isn't this wonderful, Alice?

ALICE

(in a monotone, sarcastically)

Oh, yeah. Wonderful. Why, I feel as though I could burst from joy.

MARLENE

What's wrong, Ally? You sad 'cause you don't have a man yet?

ALICE

Something like that.

MARLENE

Don't worry, I'll get you one if it's the last thing I do! (runs off dramatically)

LILY

(Laughing)

She is insane. We should go make sure she doesn't run into a wall or something. You coming?

ALICE

Oh, no, you go ahead, I have to... Have to do... something. See you later.

LILY

(confused)

Um... Okay. Bye!

(walks offstage)

(James and Sirius walk in, Alice goes up to them)

ALICE

I need to talk to you guys. Especially you, James. I have some news you're gonna love.

JAMES

Oh, really. Well it must be big if a friend of Lily Evans is talking to me. Where is Lilypad, anyway?

ALICE

Funny you should ask. She actually just walked away. With a date.

JAMES

What do you mean, a date?

ALICE

I mean, numbskull, that Frank Longbottom asked her out and she said yes.

JAMES

Schlongbottom? She'll accept a date from him and not me?

SIRIUS

Wait wait wait, why are you telling us?

ALICE

Well, I may have the teensiest crush on Frank.

SIRIUS

Oh, I see. Jealous, are we?

ALICE

Maybe just a little...

SIRIUS

Ohhh now I see. You're hoping Jamesy here will get jealous and help you ruin their date so you can get the guy and he can get the girl.

ALICE

(Hopefully)

Would you?

(James and Sirius look at each other and grin)

JAMES

Alice, my dear, you have come to the right place. Come, let's have a little... Chat, shall we?

* * *

Yo. Anyone get the Doctor Who ref at the beginning? Haha I liked it. So, hope you liked this scene. R&R, it means so much please.


	4. Scene 4

SCENE IV

(Lily and Frank are sitting at a table at Starbucks, talking. There is an empty table on the side.)

LILY

So, what do you do in your free time?

FRANK

This is kind of weird, but I love gardening. I have my own garden in my yard where I grow tomatoes and flowers and a lot of other stuff.

LILY

That's not weird. That's actually pretty cool. I've always loved seeing flowers pop up in the spring, but never had much of a green thumb. To be honest, I kill most plants I touch.

FRANK

Oh, really? Funny, I saw you as the type to be good at it.

LILY

Nah. I was the only kid whose grass didn't grow in kindergarten science. Never changed.

FRANK

Maybe you just need a little help.

LILY

Yeah! Yeah that'd be good. Since you're supposedly so amazing, maybe you could show me sometime.

FRANK

Oh, yeah! That would be nice. I'm sure I could give you some good pointers.

LILY

It's a date!

(As Frank and Lily talk, Alice, James, and Sirius are sneaking in)

ALICE

(whispering)

Are you guys sure this is gonna work?

JAMES

What? Getting cold feet?

ALICE

No, I-

SIRIUS

Good. It's a bit late to back out now. Okay, you guys ready to put our plan into action?

ALICE & JAMES

Yes.

SIRIUS

Great. Let's move in.

(The three sneak up to the empty table behind Lily and Frank.)

JAMES

And now we wait.

(Three of them hold newspapers up to just below their eyes and watch Lily and Frank)

LILY

That's a good one! Did you think of it?

FRANK

Yeah, I did. I was pretty bored on a car trip.

LILY

I'm sure. Hey, could I excuse myself for a minute. I have to use the ladies' room.

FRANK

Oh- oh, yeah. Sure.

(Lily exits stage)

(James nudges Alice and she walks up and sits in Lily's unoccupied seat)

ALICE

Mind if I sit here, handsome?

FRANK

Oh, um, I actually have- I mean, there's someone...

ALICE

Nevermind that. She can wait.

FRANK

She actually just went-

ALICE

Didn't I just say she could wait? Now, enough talking.

(Alice leans over table and kisses Frank just as Lily comes back onstage. Frank is not resisting)

LILY

Frank?!

(Frank and Alice pull apart)

LILY

Alice?!

ALICE

Lily, I-

LILY

Frank! Why were you kissing her?

FRANK

I didn't- She was kissing me- It wasn't-

LILY

Alice?! You were kissing him?

ALICE

Maybe I was! Why do you care so much? You were forced into this date! It's barely even a date! You hardly know this guy!

LILY

Yeah, so? I just wanted to have a nice date to get to know this guy and you had to ruin it! Why? I thought we were friends!

ALICE

Well, yeah, we were until you went and stole the guy you knew I liked!

LILY

I didn't know you liked him!

ALICE

Yes you did! I've told you!

FRANK

Do I-

LILY

Shh. Alice, you never told me you liked him!

ALICE

Yeah, I did, when you and Marly came over and we played truth or dare in August!

FRANK

Can I please-

LILY

HUSH! Oh, come on, Alice, you cannot have expected me to remember that! It was at 3 in the morning and we were all half asleep!

ALICE

Oh, please, I know you remember everyone's secrets, no matter when they're said!

LILY

What are you implying?

ALICE

I think you know very well what I'm implying!

FRANK

LADIES!

(Both girls look over at Frank, surprised)

FRANK

Thank you. Now... I'd, um, like to say something about this...

LILY & ALICE

What?

FRANK

Well, to be completely honest... Lily, I kind of only asked you out to get close to Alice because I know she only really likes to date people she knows...

BOTH GIRLS

WHAT?!

LILY

I can't believe this! I absolutely cannot believe this! You know what? Fine! Whatever! Both of you just break me at once, why don't you! Just... Whatever! Go on, off you go! Go plot how to ruin my life again together! Leave! Goodbye, Alice! Forever!

(Alice takes Frank's arm and storms off while Frank looks sheepish)

LILY

Oh my god...

(Lily sits down and starts crying)

(James and Sirius have been watching this from the side, shocked)

SIRIUS

(whispering)

Dude, now's your chance!

(James goes over and sits next to Lily)

LILY

(looking up)

Now is not a good time, Potter.

JAMES

No, no. I'm not asking you out. I saw what just happened. Even I'm not that insolent.

LILY

Yeah. I'd be surprised if anyone didn't see what just happened.

JAMES

Yeah. Listen, everyone's looking... Do you wanna go outside and, like, talk or something?

LILY

Talk about my feelings. With James Potter. I suppose today couldn't get any weirder.

(The two walk off)


End file.
